No Country for Old Men

Me and some friends went to the movies this weekend with the intention of seeing I Am Legend, but it was sold out, so we figured No Country for Old Men would be just as good or maybe even better. Holy shit were we wrong. This is not a film to watch for entertainment purposes if you are a left-brained person. The only people I could see enjoying this steaming pile of shit are middle-aged literature professors sitting around in a circle-jerk discussing the “deeper meaning” of the film. This has to be one of the worst movies ever created. I honestly felt violated after wasting two hours of my life sitting through this piece of shit. I won’t give away any spoilers in case someone out there feels the need to lower their IQ a few points by watching this sorry excuse for a movie. Come to think of it, there aren’t any spoilers. Because nothing happens! About an hour and forty-five minutes into the film, when I was at the point of simply getting up and leaving before I stabbed my eyes out, the movie ended without reason. But I didn’t care, because I was just thankful that it was over.

This movie was nominated for four Golden Globes. It had good reviews and good actors, so what could go wrong? The actors were about the only plus side to the movie. But the storyline is utterly retarded. If I was the main character the movie would be over in about five minutes. When I found the money my ass would be on the other side of the country the next day chillaxing. Bam, story over. But like most wannabe artsy bullshit, there is no logic involved. There is no reason for the characters’ actions except for some “deeper meaning” crock of shit. To anyone that plans to see this movie I suggest leaving logical reasoning and common sense at the door, or else you will sit through the whole movie saying to yourself “that’s stupid as hell, why did they do that?” just like I did. As a play on a Dave Chappelle quote, I wish I had more hands so I could give this movie four thumbs down.